*/
Pupillage is an incredibly challenging experience testing your intellect, stamina and resilience in ways few jobs do. Doing it as a parent or caregiver adds a layer of complexity that no Bar course, mooting competition or mini-pupillage can prepare you for. Here, I share my reflections on juggling parenthood with pupillage and offer some practical tips for future pupils, supervisors and chambers.
Let me start with your most important takeaway from this article: Be open and transparent with the people you work with by setting expectations from the start. Your supervisors and clerks will want to set you up for success but need to be aware of your circumstances.
With every supervisor, I had a candid conversation about my childcare obligations. I did the same with my clerks before the start of my second six. Such clarity was appreciated by everyone.
What to share in these conversations? This will, of course, depend on your situation, but I covered the following:
Be clear, however, that you want to discuss your caring obligations to maximise the chances that you can take on a wide variety of work. My clerks know that I do not want to decline any instructions, but I may sometimes need to make arrangements first. They have been supportive by liaising with me accordingly.
I learnt not to compare myself to other pupils who do not have the same family commitments. I certainly do not want to compare myself to other parents because everybody’s situation is unique. Instead, I have learnt to play to my strengths.
As a parent or caregiver, you will have developed a wealth of interpersonal and organisational skills that will be invaluable during pupillage. You may not notice it during late-night feeds, school drop-offs and visits to A&E, but the skills are there. Utilise them.
Bring a level of realism to the job that a pupil straight out of the Bar course may not have. Be calm and collected when others are not – because nothing will top the stress of an overtired three-year-old determined to delay bedtime. Build personal connections with your lay and professional clients. Bond over real-life pressures and build lasting relationships that go beyond merely delivering on instructions.
I learnt to appreciate that not all time is equal. My commute to Chambers is an hour. In the morning, I can spend that hour productively catching up on emails and reading case papers. In the evening, I may prefer to decompress by reading a book or listening to a podcast, but I can do work if needed. However, if I have my son, then I want to spend the time on the train discussing his day, drawing and playing games. For me, that time is non-negotiable, as is family dinner, bathtime and bedtime. Whenever I need to work late, work will re-commence after bedtime – just as I am writing this very article!
My advice is to protect the times you want to dedicate to your family but also be clear when you can work if needed. Just as important is managing expectations with your family. Your partner and children should know with confidence when they will have your undivided attention and when you must work.
As my tenancy application deadline was approaching, I had to devote more time to work than usual. This meant giving up precious family time and was a difficult period. I took a weekend to consider my options, had candid conversations with my family and came up with a plan. Fortunate to have immense support from my family and Chambers, I successfully navigated this period.
The lesson here is to recognise when the status quo is no longer working and have the courage to ask for help. You may be hesitant to share that you are struggling; I certainly felt that way. However, Chambers colleagues taught me that the time to learn from mistakes and pick yourself back up is pupillage. Indeed, the point of pupillage is to learn in a protected environment with the support of your supervisor. You are not (yet) doing it on your own!
Six months into pupillage, a colleague asked me about my hobbies. I did not have an answer. So, I took her advice and re-started piano lessons. Getting an electric piano – with headphones so as not to wake up my sleeping toddler – was the best decision I made during pupillage. I highly recommend a daily routine just for yourself not involving the law – if only for 20 minutes. It will help you decompress and return to work or childcare afresh.
Supervisors, support your pupils by sharing your own challenges. To see my supervisors – all with caring responsibilities – manage their time and communicate with clerks, clients and judges, sometimes dealing with last-minute emergencies, was empowering.
Encourage pupils to convey their caretaking commitments and challenges. These conversations should take place throughout pupillage. Discuss how things are going. Can Chambers help? Small adjustments may make a big difference. One supervisor simply offered for me to work from home on Fridays when he did.
Such thoughtful considerations can go a long way. A 9.30am conference instead of 9am might allow for school drop-off. Working from home on specific days may be more efficient than travelling to chambers. If a pupil is suddenly dealing with a sick child at home, consider proactively extending a deadline. I was reassured every time my supervisors and other members of Chambers showed such consideration.
Social events and networking opportunities matter. Giving a pupil a heads up about such afterhours engagements will help them make the necessary arrangements and join. For example, when one of my supervisors planned to go out for drinks with a client after court – an opportunity for me to establish a relationship – she let me know a week in advance so that I could make alternative pick-up arrangements.
Completing pupillage as a parent was undoubtedly the most difficult year in my life. There were times when I felt completely stretched and falling short on all fronts. What got me through was knowing that this was only a short season of life but a long-term investment into my family’s future. Your children will be proud of you.
Finally, I survived pupillage only with the immeasurable support of the closest people in my life. So, my last tip is this: Make time for your support network, be that your partner, co-parent, siblings, parents or friends. They are all travelling on this journey with you. They deserve your thanks.
Stella Wojdyla completed pupillage at 5 Essex Chambers, where she is joining as a tenant in September 2025. Stella was previously Head of Compliance for Europe at the Gerson Lehrman Group.
Pupillage is an incredibly challenging experience testing your intellect, stamina and resilience in ways few jobs do. Doing it as a parent or caregiver adds a layer of complexity that no Bar course, mooting competition or mini-pupillage can prepare you for. Here, I share my reflections on juggling parenthood with pupillage and offer some practical tips for future pupils, supervisors and chambers.
Let me start with your most important takeaway from this article: Be open and transparent with the people you work with by setting expectations from the start. Your supervisors and clerks will want to set you up for success but need to be aware of your circumstances.
With every supervisor, I had a candid conversation about my childcare obligations. I did the same with my clerks before the start of my second six. Such clarity was appreciated by everyone.
What to share in these conversations? This will, of course, depend on your situation, but I covered the following:
Be clear, however, that you want to discuss your caring obligations to maximise the chances that you can take on a wide variety of work. My clerks know that I do not want to decline any instructions, but I may sometimes need to make arrangements first. They have been supportive by liaising with me accordingly.
I learnt not to compare myself to other pupils who do not have the same family commitments. I certainly do not want to compare myself to other parents because everybody’s situation is unique. Instead, I have learnt to play to my strengths.
As a parent or caregiver, you will have developed a wealth of interpersonal and organisational skills that will be invaluable during pupillage. You may not notice it during late-night feeds, school drop-offs and visits to A&E, but the skills are there. Utilise them.
Bring a level of realism to the job that a pupil straight out of the Bar course may not have. Be calm and collected when others are not – because nothing will top the stress of an overtired three-year-old determined to delay bedtime. Build personal connections with your lay and professional clients. Bond over real-life pressures and build lasting relationships that go beyond merely delivering on instructions.
I learnt to appreciate that not all time is equal. My commute to Chambers is an hour. In the morning, I can spend that hour productively catching up on emails and reading case papers. In the evening, I may prefer to decompress by reading a book or listening to a podcast, but I can do work if needed. However, if I have my son, then I want to spend the time on the train discussing his day, drawing and playing games. For me, that time is non-negotiable, as is family dinner, bathtime and bedtime. Whenever I need to work late, work will re-commence after bedtime – just as I am writing this very article!
My advice is to protect the times you want to dedicate to your family but also be clear when you can work if needed. Just as important is managing expectations with your family. Your partner and children should know with confidence when they will have your undivided attention and when you must work.
As my tenancy application deadline was approaching, I had to devote more time to work than usual. This meant giving up precious family time and was a difficult period. I took a weekend to consider my options, had candid conversations with my family and came up with a plan. Fortunate to have immense support from my family and Chambers, I successfully navigated this period.
The lesson here is to recognise when the status quo is no longer working and have the courage to ask for help. You may be hesitant to share that you are struggling; I certainly felt that way. However, Chambers colleagues taught me that the time to learn from mistakes and pick yourself back up is pupillage. Indeed, the point of pupillage is to learn in a protected environment with the support of your supervisor. You are not (yet) doing it on your own!
Six months into pupillage, a colleague asked me about my hobbies. I did not have an answer. So, I took her advice and re-started piano lessons. Getting an electric piano – with headphones so as not to wake up my sleeping toddler – was the best decision I made during pupillage. I highly recommend a daily routine just for yourself not involving the law – if only for 20 minutes. It will help you decompress and return to work or childcare afresh.
Supervisors, support your pupils by sharing your own challenges. To see my supervisors – all with caring responsibilities – manage their time and communicate with clerks, clients and judges, sometimes dealing with last-minute emergencies, was empowering.
Encourage pupils to convey their caretaking commitments and challenges. These conversations should take place throughout pupillage. Discuss how things are going. Can Chambers help? Small adjustments may make a big difference. One supervisor simply offered for me to work from home on Fridays when he did.
Such thoughtful considerations can go a long way. A 9.30am conference instead of 9am might allow for school drop-off. Working from home on specific days may be more efficient than travelling to chambers. If a pupil is suddenly dealing with a sick child at home, consider proactively extending a deadline. I was reassured every time my supervisors and other members of Chambers showed such consideration.
Social events and networking opportunities matter. Giving a pupil a heads up about such afterhours engagements will help them make the necessary arrangements and join. For example, when one of my supervisors planned to go out for drinks with a client after court – an opportunity for me to establish a relationship – she let me know a week in advance so that I could make alternative pick-up arrangements.
Completing pupillage as a parent was undoubtedly the most difficult year in my life. There were times when I felt completely stretched and falling short on all fronts. What got me through was knowing that this was only a short season of life but a long-term investment into my family’s future. Your children will be proud of you.
Finally, I survived pupillage only with the immeasurable support of the closest people in my life. So, my last tip is this: Make time for your support network, be that your partner, co-parent, siblings, parents or friends. They are all travelling on this journey with you. They deserve your thanks.
Update from the Chair of the Bar
By Clement Cowley, Partner at The Penny Group
Modernising communication and collaboration at a leading Chancery set. A Zexi case study
How to build profile without compromising professional duties. By Naumaan Farooq, Co-Founder of Inked PR
Marie Law, Director of Toxicology at AlphaBiolabs, examines the role of cut-off levels, and the wider range of factors that must be considered when interpreting results for family court proceedings
Endometriosis Awareness North, a charity raising awareness of endometriosis and supporting those affected across the North of England, has received a £500 boost from AlphaBiolabs via the company’s Giving Back initiative
A decade of reviews and research has disrupted accepted thinking in the search for causality. Suicides following abuse have overtaken domestic homicides. Is the law keeping up? Professor Susan Edwards KC (Hon) examines recent cases and the obstacles to successful prosecution
The case against judge-only justice – and why efficiency is not enough. By Professor Leslie Thomas KC
Jemima Coleman and Zoë Leventhal KC on the evolving global movement seeking to reframe how we view nature: to recognise that nature possesses inherent rights and to enshrine these rights in law
Heritage as an anchor and a compass, finding our common humanity and embracing the power of the outsider – Melina Antoniadis’s lessons learnt
Lauren Fullerton examines the how, what and why of setting up a second chambers base
