*/
Dreams of an international legal career are shattered
November 5, 2013: “Treason doth never prosper. What’s the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it ‘treason’” – Sir John Harrington
The lingering taste of delicious fresh pasta, seasoned with freshly cracked black pepper, fresh herbs, garlic and a sprinkling of Parmesan cheese, eaten to the accompaniment of a mandolin played by a one-legged Roman beggar, is receding apace. Rome. What a few days that was. After sobering up Paddy Corkhill sufficiently to travel by air, we arrived in the Eternal City and, following a shower, were motored to a delightful restaurant where three men were waiting for us.
Selim Awaz, Corkill’s pupil, had given me brief but intelligible instructions. “First they will ask you to protect the Leader from the forces of vengeance – the International Criminal Court to us – then they will ask you how to free his money from the rapacious clutches of the foreign capitalists – international sanctions in other words – and, lastly, how to get the civil service of their country paid, without which the country cannot really function.You understand?”
“Yes,” I said. “I advise them on each matter in order, remembering that the priority is to save the Leader.”
“No,” said Awaz. “You have not understood. You must address the issues in precisely the reverse order. They are very interested in getting their wages; somewhat interested in getting the Leader some of his ill-gotten gains to use to pay their wages; and not at all interested in his fate since they regard him as an insane dead duck.”
Social matters proved no less complicated. Again, Selim’s advice was indispensable. “They will not drink alcohol.” I looked depressed. He smiled. “You may drink alcohol. Indeed, you should. They have heard that you are something of a wine buff. Also, you are one of Her Majesty’s Counsel and Head of Chambers. They may come from what you think is a poor and backward country with neo-Marxist and fanatical politicians, but they respect your being a QC and a Head of Chambers – unlike some in Whitehall we could mention.” Selim’s own position was different. “I will be offered drink, but must sadly refuse it. They would not like it. Corkhill will also be offered alcohol but you must decline it for him.” “Because they would not like it?” I asked. “No,” he replied. “because we would not like it.”
All went rather well. The men were introduced as the Deputy Justice Minister, a Security Liaison official and a junior diplomat from the London Embassy. I asked about three other men in suits who were keeping a discreet presence several tables away. “Your security people?” “No,” said the Deputy Justice Minister, “yours.”
After a few pleasantries we got to the nitty-gritty. “Our chief priority is to save our leader and his family; his possessions and his wealth. What would you advise?” I returned the volley. “It seems to me you can do nothing for your leadership if money is not found to fund the people who work for the government.” There was a deathly silence. The Deputy Justice Minister spoke for the trio. “We do not wish to hear you talk like this.” A long pause ensued. “On the other hand – and it pains me to say it – there is a certain logic in what you say. So much so that you may take it you are instructed.” He then paused and smiled: “We enjoyed hearing of your defence of King Charles I at the Middle Temple Balloon Debate. We have much sympathy for him. Nevertheless, he did lose his head. Better to be like his son: hide up a tree and become King Charles II.”
“You are remarkably well informed,” I told him. “The advantage of reading Modern History at Christ Church,” he replied.
At this point the one-legged beggar appeared and sang, to mandolin accompaniment, a passable version of that Italian operatic aria I can only remember as Just One Cornetto. I wondered if he might also be a British security agent but my attention turned to Paddy Corkhill who had used the diversion to get his hands on our carafe.
And so, back to England, where my brief dreams of a role on the international legal stage were rudely shattered. A giant television screen now adorns our reception area through which I entered on our return. It displays rolling news. It has no sound but displays subtitles rather out of sync with the pictures. Although “TOUPEES INVOLVED IN VIOLIN COP” may have meant nothing to the disinterested observer, the film above it of the Deputy Justice Minister being marched none too gently to a waiting truck translated it to me as “TROOPS INVOLVED IN VIOLENT COUP”.
William Byfield is the pseudonym of a senior member of the Bar. Gutteridge Chambers, and the events that happen there, are entirely fictitious.
Selim Awaz, Corkill’s pupil, had given me brief but intelligible instructions. “First they will ask you to protect the Leader from the forces of vengeance – the International Criminal Court to us – then they will ask you how to free his money from the rapacious clutches of the foreign capitalists – international sanctions in other words – and, lastly, how to get the civil service of their country paid, without which the country cannot really function.You understand?”
“Yes,” I said. “I advise them on each matter in order, remembering that the priority is to save the Leader.”
“No,” said Awaz. “You have not understood. You must address the issues in precisely the reverse order. They are very interested in getting their wages; somewhat interested in getting the Leader some of his ill-gotten gains to use to pay their wages; and not at all interested in his fate since they regard him as an insane dead duck.”
Social matters proved no less complicated. Again, Selim’s advice was indispensable. “They will not drink alcohol.” I looked depressed. He smiled. “You may drink alcohol. Indeed, you should. They have heard that you are something of a wine buff. Also, you are one of Her Majesty’s Counsel and Head of Chambers. They may come from what you think is a poor and backward country with neo-Marxist and fanatical politicians, but they respect your being a QC and a Head of Chambers – unlike some in Whitehall we could mention.” Selim’s own position was different. “I will be offered drink, but must sadly refuse it. They would not like it. Corkhill will also be offered alcohol but you must decline it for him.” “Because they would not like it?” I asked. “No,” he replied. “because we would not like it.”
All went rather well. The men were introduced as the Deputy Justice Minister, a Security Liaison official and a junior diplomat from the London Embassy. I asked about three other men in suits who were keeping a discreet presence several tables away. “Your security people?” “No,” said the Deputy Justice Minister, “yours.”
After a few pleasantries we got to the nitty-gritty. “Our chief priority is to save our leader and his family; his possessions and his wealth. What would you advise?” I returned the volley. “It seems to me you can do nothing for your leadership if money is not found to fund the people who work for the government.” There was a deathly silence. The Deputy Justice Minister spoke for the trio. “We do not wish to hear you talk like this.” A long pause ensued. “On the other hand – and it pains me to say it – there is a certain logic in what you say. So much so that you may take it you are instructed.” He then paused and smiled: “We enjoyed hearing of your defence of King Charles I at the Middle Temple Balloon Debate. We have much sympathy for him. Nevertheless, he did lose his head. Better to be like his son: hide up a tree and become King Charles II.”
“You are remarkably well informed,” I told him. “The advantage of reading Modern History at Christ Church,” he replied.
At this point the one-legged beggar appeared and sang, to mandolin accompaniment, a passable version of that Italian operatic aria I can only remember as Just One Cornetto. I wondered if he might also be a British security agent but my attention turned to Paddy Corkhill who had used the diversion to get his hands on our carafe.
And so, back to England, where my brief dreams of a role on the international legal stage were rudely shattered. A giant television screen now adorns our reception area through which I entered on our return. It displays rolling news. It has no sound but displays subtitles rather out of sync with the pictures. Although “TOUPEES INVOLVED IN VIOLIN COP” may have meant nothing to the disinterested observer, the film above it of the Deputy Justice Minister being marched none too gently to a waiting truck translated it to me as “TROOPS INVOLVED IN VIOLENT COUP”.
William Byfield is the pseudonym of a senior member of the Bar. Gutteridge Chambers, and the events that happen there, are entirely fictitious.
Dreams of an international legal career are shattered
November 5, 2013: “Treason doth never prosper. What’s the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it ‘treason’” – Sir John Harrington
The lingering taste of delicious fresh pasta, seasoned with freshly cracked black pepper, fresh herbs, garlic and a sprinkling of Parmesan cheese, eaten to the accompaniment of a mandolin played by a one-legged Roman beggar, is receding apace. Rome. What a few days that was. After sobering up Paddy Corkhill sufficiently to travel by air, we arrived in the Eternal City and, following a shower, were motored to a delightful restaurant where three men were waiting for us.
Sam Townend KC explains the Bar Council’s efforts towards ensuring a bright future for the profession
Giovanni D’Avola explores the issue of over-citation of unreported cases and the ‘added value’ elements of a law report
Louise Crush explores the key points and opportunities for tax efficiency
Westgate Wealth Management Ltd is a Partner Practice of FTSE 100 company St. James’s Place – one of the top UK Wealth Management firms. We offer a holistic service of distinct quality, integrity, and excellence with the aim to build a professional and valuable relationship with our clients, helping to provide them with security now, prosperity in the future and the highest standard of service in all of our dealings.
Is now the time to review your financial position, having reached a career milestone? asks Louise Crush
If you were to host a dinner party with 10 guests, and you asked them to explain what financial planning is and how it differs to financial advice, you’d receive 10 different answers. The variety of answers highlights the ongoing need to clarify and promote the value of financial planning.
Most of us like to think we would risk our career in order to meet our ethical obligations, so why have so many lawyers failed to hold the line? asks Flora Page
If your current practice environment is bringing you down, seek a new one. However daunting the change, it will be worth it, says Anon Barrister
Creating advocacy opportunities for juniors is now the expectation but not always easy to put into effect. Tom Mitcheson KC distils developing best practice from the Patents Court initiative already bearing fruit
Sam Townend KC explains the Bar Council’s efforts towards ensuring a bright future for the profession
The long-running fee-paid judicial pensions saga continues. The current cut-off date for giving notice of election to join FPJPS is 31 March 2024, and that date now gives rise to a serious problem, warns HH John Platt